Imagine that you just moved and as a result you’ll be attending a new school. Obviously, you’re going to be shy around new people whom you’re not yet familiar. You’re objective might not be to become the most popular in the school, but at the very least you’d like to become at least well-liked by your fellow students.
If you’re just entering high school as a freshman, the most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone; every other student entering is also, in some senses, new. Sure, they might already have friends from before, but social dynamics change so much in high school that people often end up making completely new friends and sometimes even replace their old ones completely. As a result, it’s going to be easier to make friends with these new people as none of you are yet in established cliques.
Although it may sound like too common an answer, don’t discredit the power of being yourself. Don’t necessarily try to be someone else (unless you have a darn good reason for doing – and even if you do, don’t stray so far.) Be out-going, fun to be around, and make sure you don’t come off as annoying as it will just backfire through rumors. Another trite but true piece of advice is that first encounters are always the most important. Either come off as nonchalant or cool, but don’t come off as overly eager and, like I said, annoying. Because first meetings are important, make sure you look good when people first meet you. Your clothes should look good, your hair should be cut, you should smell nice, and you’re teeth should be clean (a white smile can do wonders for your confidence and people’s perception of you.) Make personal hygiene matter to you.
Here’s the secret to being outgoing: talk to everybody you come across. Don’t try so hard but if you went to make friends quickly at a new school, you should be able to have a casual conversation with everyone. This projects the image that you’re friendly and looking to make new friends. Because you don’t know whose going to be your friend at a new school, meeting a lot of people will give you more opportunities just in case. Let me just reiterate how important it is to be shy; the worst thing you can do is be shy! The second worst is be annoying, but only after being shy. Popularity isn’t what’s important at first when you first move to a new school, having friends and building relationships is, and that’s what causes popularity anyway.
Also, a new student to a new school, you have to get yourself known and involve yourself in school activities. The best answer to this question is to join a sports team or a club. You’ll make more friends in a month running track than you might in a year otherwise make. This is honestly the most important thing you can do.
We have to remember that there is a difference between the popular girls you see on television and the ones that exist in real life. Yet, despite the fact that the difference between these two is usually substantial, some high schools actually are very similar to what you see on television or in the movie “Mean Girls.”
The most obvious stereotypical characteristic of a popular girl is that she is extraordinarily attractive, and that guys constantly fantasize about her. Another common characteristic of the popular girl is that she’s rich; one might imagine her as a daddy’s girl who gets everything that she wants. Another characteristic of a popular girl is for her to always look attractive and well dressed. Often, stereotypical popular girls wear expensive, fancy clothing that perhaps their peers can’t afford, making her lifestyle, in some ways, exclusive.
Also, visually, we imagine the typical popular girl to be a cheerleader (perhaps, even the team captain.) As a result, she’s friends with all the other cheerleaders who are obviously quite stunning themselves. This could translate into a legion of followers or minions who do her bidding and help spread rumors and protect their queen. Stereotypically, this would draw the attention of popular males in the school, only elevating her status further. Again, in the movies, it’s common to think of a popular girl as a mean girl – someone who is stubborn, self-centered, selfish, and a narcissist. This is advantageous because it allows her to maintain her position; no one would dare challenge someone who holds so much power. For the stereotypical popular girl, gossip is another source of power. By constantly lowering the self-esteem of her challengers, gossip is an inherent characteristic that gives her leverage and control. Lastly, the mean girl, as we’ll now call her, seems to often be portrayed as untrustworthy and deceitful; therefore, she’s unpredictable.
In real life, many of these characteristics of popular girls are moot; in other words, they’re not nearly as important. While being rich could yield benefits, such as the ability to hold house parties and buy expensive clothing, what’s much more valuable is the number and quality of friends a popular girl has; she often relies on a few close buddies to help complete her exclusive club and then builds off of that. Popular girls, in real life, are still usually attractive, but more important is that they have incredibly out-going personalities and are a lot of fun to be around. They’re often easy to talk to, and as a result make friends quickly; thus, they can grow their social circles at astounding rates.
At some schools, the popular kids are the people who attend parties and do immoral things like sex and drugs. But, this in some ways false popularity which has been hyped up a lot by television shows and movies. However, in many cases people are legitimately popular for their own reasons. They are usually for social-able, do a lot of activities out of school and are easy to talk to. They are nice people who hang out with others because of common interests. Also, they mainly where what's popular at the time -- paying attention to how you look and ensuring that you look good is very important, have no doubt about it. They outgoing people also have excellent communication abilities. One thing is that depending on the school, success may or may not equal. Like, a lot of celebrities who have money were not popular in school. Also a lot of geeks are successful in life because success is generally in fields like science, math, and technology. The facts are this: popular people are good at making friends and surrounding themselves with people.
The peers of successful people generally respect them and think highly of them. In some school it's cool to be smart. Additionally, while you don't particularly have to follow the latest trends in clothing, rocking your own style is very important -- but don't be too eccentric and keep it fairly conservative.
How nice popular people are also varies from school to school. For certain, in many school the popular people can be nasty; however, for the most part they are pretty nice. Even if their not nice, they maintain that appearance and generally everyone will look up to them. Also, being affluent definitely helps, but it's not a requirement. Sadly though, it is try that if you are rich you are more likely to be more popular -- but the really popular rich people know not to be snobby because it usually works against them.
All in all, you should be very careful with who you decide to be friends with because it will have a substantial impact on the person that you become in the future. If you show that you are comfortable with yourself, and fun to be around, others will be naturally drawn to you.
How important is popularity in school? Is it really popularity that we want, or rather is it a close knit group of friends that we can rely on to be there for us. Furthermore, how do we define popularity and what is it that we want to truly gain from it. Do we simply want to be respected by others and avoid being made fun of? Do we we want to be envied by others and treated like a king on top of a pedestal? Or, does it just mean having some really close friends that will be there for us in times of trouble. I'm going to address these questions in this article and I'd be interested in your feedback.
One of the main things we're aiming for when talking about wanting school popularity is being respected by everyone. Of course, that's because we want to enjoy of the benefits of having everyone think highly of us. If they respect us, we think to ourselves, then they'll listen to us and show interest in what we think. Furthermore, they won't ridicule someone who they respect. They won't make fun of someone they respect. Having people respect you makes your life easy, and that's obviously something we want when chasing popularity in school.
We also might want the envy of our peers. Because people look up to those who they envy, this will attract others to us constantly. If people are looking for guidance or advice, we'll be the first ones they turn to. Envy is similar to respect but almost raised to another level. It allows you to have people act according to your will. To be envied means there's something you've done or accomplished that other people wish they could also achieve. That means you're going to have to find something and excel in it. Maybe that means being the top math student in your class and having everyone come to you for help. Also, if you work towards a six-pack and eventually are able to get one, people who don't have one are going to be envious that you do. If you're a girl and get and fantastic shape, change your hairstyle, and wear some new good-looking clothes, that is also going to turn heads. Having something that others are in awe of is challenging and requires work, but the rewards that are reaped from doing so are often worth the difficulty.
Maybe though, it's not being respected by the masses that's important to you. Instead, all you seek in high school is to develop a group of friends that you can constantly rely on. This requires work, but you'll soon realize that if you create a large enough group of friends then you by default become popular, and popularity in school is accomplished. If you are a loner with no friends then people are going to see you as such. However, if people begin to recognize that you always hang out with certain kids and have friends wherever you go, they'll identify you as someone who is reasonably popular. This only feeds your popularity further because they'll want to become friends with you as well. This process will be reiterated infinitely and you're popularity will continue to grow as more and more people become your friends.
So, it's important to identify the importance of school popularity to us. You should figure out first what your goal is and then focus on it specifically. A good place to start though is to start with a few friends and then branch out from there exponentially.
Popularity in school is often based on things which you were once restricted from doing. This means that it often involves girls, alcohol, and parties. These accompany the other obvious ones like sports, outward appearances, conversational skills, and confidence. In certain schools and districts, high school popularity will also be highly dependent on extra-curricular activities and school accomplishments, such as being able to earn extraordinary grades in classes, making others envious and earning you respect.
High school opens you up to a lot of possibilities that were simply impossible before. Where girls might have been icky, having a girlfriend is now the norm; in fact, not having a girlfriend (or boyfriend) by sophomore year (at the least) becomes an embarrassment. It's something that's just expected, if, you know, you're cool. To attract an member of the opposite sex to be interested in you is going to require some work. You need to be attractive and in more than one way. If you're a little overweight, work at getting toned and refining your body. If your clothes are a little out of style, try to check out the local style trends and get something that looks good (but that at the same time doesn't scream that your trying to make a fashion statement.) Make sure you smell nice every day, and look and feel good about yourself. No one is going to want to be in a relationship with someone who is not comfortable in themselves. Once you have finally gotten a girlfriend or boyfriend, it will only contribute to your popularity in high school. One tip, however, is to make sure it doesn't interfere with your other socializing. Make sure it's not too big of a time commitment, and devote just sometime after school some days and on the weekend to hanging out. It shouldn't get in the way of your friends, but at the same time having a boyfriend or girlfriend will definitely earn the respect of your peers who might not have one.
You should also be very involved in parties. Alcohol is a touchy subject, and when possible try to avoid it. You can be at a party and stay away. Hopefully, in your high school people are relatively mature and it's not an issue. The big thing however is getting invited to the parties in the first place. Become friends with party starters, or be part of a group of friends that has popular members so that they can invite you if they get invited themselves. You don't need to be the center of attention at a party, but socialize as much as possible and try to talk to and hang out with everyone whose there; it's a good way to spend some quality time with a wide range of people. Also, if you ever have the chance, throw a party on your own. Make sure that your friends help you in planning it instead of going at it alone. Make sure at least ten or fifteen of your friends promise to be there and actively promote it to your friends. There's no point in throwing a party if you don't already have commitments from other people to be there, so do that first before you make the official announcement.
Obviously, you should choose a sport that your good at and devote a lot of time to it. You only need one sport, but you're aim should always be to be near the top in terms of skill level. Yes, it takes time, but being good at a sport is one of the more common surefire ways to gain respect. Hopefully, you are already an outgoing person. But if not, use every opportunity possible to socialize with others. Take part in acting classes, if your school has them, in which you are forced to go outside of your comfort zone. There are also a bunch of great acting classes available during the summer. Specifically, try to take an improvisation class if they're available; they force you to think on your feet and come up with a plot from scratch without any prior practice.
Also, be involved in extra-curricular clubs and activities that are neutral in terms of coolness, but which provide you further opportunities to socialize. Don't join a chess club (at least not for social purposes) but certainly do join Model U.N., Habitat for Humanity, or perhaps even debate team. In many of these clubs, there's a good opportunity to meet girls (or boys) and work on your confidence.
Though this may not necessarily inflate your popularity in high school, being a top student will payoff in terms of respect. People will tell their friends how well you're doing in a certain class, and general awe will spread. People with think of you as someone who accomplishes things at a high level, and again this permeates throughout the school as people tell their peers. Remember, people like to gossip, but this gossip actually paints a positive picture of you.
If you want to learn how to be popular in elementary school, it's very similar to the article I've written called Get Popular: Middle School. They both cover tactics that can be used before your enter high school, where it's a whole different environment altogether. The definition of elementary school varies depending on where you live. In some areas, it means K-12. In others, it means the grades proceeding 5th grade. In my opinion, popularity doesn't even really start to matter until 5th grade because kids aren't socially developed yet and parents arrange play dates and everything. Therefore, it's hard to explain how to be popular in elementary school since its not of real importance. Mainly, parents should plan fun activities for their children and their friends, like play-dates and visits to museums. It's mainly the parents responsibility for their child's friendships. Make sure your child is actively involved with other students on a daily basis. Now, if you want to learn about popularity in grades 6 through 8, then you should start with my article on how to be popular in middle school and continue through to the second part of the series. It describes all parts of popularity before the high school period and its highly recommended to those who want to enjoy those years in a confident manner.
This is part two of my series on how to be popular in middle school. If you haven't read the first part, you can click here to do so. Otherwise, read on.
I'm going to dissect all the parts of the middle school experience. If you want to get popular in middle school, you should understand how the system works and then become a master of each component. Let's start with everything that happens within middle school, before talking about being a master of what happens outside of school (what activities you plan after the school bell rings.)
First of all, you have your classes. In your classes, you sit in tables with other students. Obviously, you want to make sure that you are sitting at tables with your friends, or other cool, interesting kids who are fun to be around and whom you are willing to be seen with. You should be fun to work with, and seem excited whenever someone gets assigned to work with you. In group projects, you should always be the leader and take charge of the assignment. People should want to work with you because you are going to lead them -- you are going to read the assignment and figure out what needs to get done. Then, you are going to be the one to give your partner tasks to do, not the other way around. You're not a leech but a leader. In other words, people are going to want to work with you because you're going to do be a good partner to work with -- in other words, you are going to become a popular choice for a partner. Sure it requires extra work and effort, but you'll soon learn that its worth it. When people work with you, you can't be shy or talk in a low voice. Look your partner directly in the face, with a smile, and talk loudly and clearly. Be confident in yourself and what your doing. Don't stumble and make sure all your movements are smooth, like you don't care. Slowly, by being fun to work with and someone who takes charge, you'll master the classroom.
The cafeteria is one of the biggest struggles for those who are trying to get popular in middle school. There are lots of problems that you are gong to face in the cafeteria. Once you are excluded from a group, it's hard to join it. But instead of joining another group where interesting things are happening, you need to be the one who makes interesting things happen so that the group ends up forming around you. Ultimately, your goal is to be the center of attention. To always have something that attracts other people to you, like a magnet. In that way, instead of not being invited to sit with other people, you'll have the power to choose who gets to sit with you.
Early on in middle school, this might mean having interesting food and snacks which you can selectively share with others, and which only you have. Later, it might mean having a cool game on your phone that others want to check out. Another idea might be to bring a deck of cards, and then teach a few others to play 5 card poker or Texas Hold'em. Whatever it is, you want to others to be interested in what your doing so that they have to come over to your table. You should focus on building a group of friends who all do interesting things with you during lunch, and then plan that you all go outside at recess and do another activity together. Always be in charge of these activities, or plan them with your group of friends. Never be a follower; always be a leader. For outdoor activities, you should have the power to make decisions. If you're a really good player, you might already have that power. But if you're not the best player, you should use whatever leverage you have (if the equipment is yours, then you should automatically be the team captain.) In either case, whatever the activity is, you can't stink at it. You should at least be near the top. If this means practicing after school at playing basketball, so be it. Then when you're good, you can invite the other good players to play with you after school and use it to form an even more tight knit group of loyal friends.
Now, let's talk about after-school activities. Build a lot of one and one relationships with interesting, out-going kids early on. Then, slowly add-on to that. Hang out with one kid, and then later invite another one over. Soon, you should be able to create a group of 5 or 6 kids whom you regularly hang out with. Remember, strength is in numbers. If you have a decent amount of kids you hang out with, by default you are the popular ones -- popularity is, after all, measured in numbers. Now that you have this group of friends, plan exclusive activities that others hear about and wish they were involved in. Go to the local pizza place with your group of 5 or 6 friends at least once a week. Go to the movies with your group of friends every other weekend. Also, if you ever reach the top of the popularity food chain, never be mean to others. You should never be thought of as a mean person. In fact, although you're not going to go out of your way to talk to every student in your grade, none of them should have a reason to hate you. They should all, more or less like you, for being a nice, fun, and out-going person. It's not that hard to get popular in middle school, just plan fun activities and create a big group of loyal friends who you regularly hang out with.
Middle school is a place where stereotypes dominate and the confident reign supreme. Your number one priority should be to demand attention and exude confidence. I'm going to give you a number of tips that will help you master how to be popular in middle school. After you finish reading this article, check out the second part of the series: Get Popular Middle School. It expands on some of the ideas here, and gets into some specific details on how to be a popular, cool kid in middle school.
How To Be Popular in Middle School: The Attention of Others
First of all, one of the main secrets on how to be popular in middle school is to always carry with you what others want. Remember, your goal is to demand the attention of others and have them be reliant on you. In middle school, one way to accomplish this is by carrying gum with you. Gum, to make a metaphor to the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, is the golden ticket, and everyone wants it. Realize, that by carrying gum you are carrying a powerful weapon. Use this power wisely. Make sure you use it smartly and to your advantage. Pick and choose who you give your gum to. Make it a habit to regularly reject people (even those at the top of the food chain.) If you give in too easy to the other popular kids, then they wont have any incentive to look up to you. If you regularly reject them, then when you finally do give them gum it will have a huge impact on them. Reward these people and use it to make a tight nit group of friends.
How To Be Popular in Middle School by Staying in Shape!
Although this is more difficult, realize that being athletic and good (or at the very least, decent) at sports is rather important. Use sports as a way to hang out with other kids. Regularly play basketball at the school and invite others to come play with you. If you want to know how to become popular in middle school, realize that a lot of it means that you need to be the boss. You need to be the one that arranges the activities that others partake in. You should be the one arranging for people to go to the movies. You should be the one inviting people over to play video games. If you want to know the truth of how to become popular in middle school, it's that you should always be taking charge and planing events. That way, everyone will want to be friends with you to ensure that they get invited to the next thing you plan. Sports are merely a good way to look cool, and are one of the easiest events to arrange. Get decent at playing baseball, softball, or kickball, and be the one to bring the equipment to school so everyone can play. It's not that hard to know how to become popular in middle school. Just be the one that everyone else is reliant on, and people will have no choice but to want to hang out with you and respect you.
High School is a difficult place to master popularity. This isn't the minor leagues folks -- we're now in the major league. What once worked in middle school might not work as well in high school. Therefore, if you want to know how to be popular in high school, the first thing you have to realize is that it's a different beast entirely.
Becoming popular in high school is based on a number of factors. Also, realize that in high school, popularity isn't just based on confidence, appearance, and attitude. It's also based on accomplishment. This may mean being an accomplished student. It may also mean being a student who is organized and excelling in many activities, even extra-curricular ones. Also, in high school, popularity is largely based on the respect of your fellow classmates. If you want to know how to be popular in high school, realize that earning respect doesn't just mean being cool, and doing cool things, but rather being a successful person. People want to be around other successful people because they're getting ready for the next stage of their life: college.
How To Be Popular in High School: Socializing
Now while classes are a good place to hang out, meet, and interact with other students, they're not the best place to form real, solid relationships. The majority of these are built outside of the classroom during extra-curricular activities. One of the biggest secrets of how to become popular in high school is this: it is absolutely essential that you get involved in these activities. Play a sport at your school, and build a group of friends around that. Join a club at your school, such as Model U.N., and be very social-able, outgoing, and fun to hang out with. Because these clubs force groups of people together consistently, on a set basis, you have constant opportunities to reinforce your relationships with these people. Then, you can leverage these relationships to arrange meet-ups outside of school, where you'll meet friends of friends and become even more popular. Remember, learning how to be popular in high school isn't that hard. It just means being well-liked, and knowing a lot of people whom you feel comfortable hanging out with. Being well-liked is simply a matter of being outgoing, nice, charismatic, and not awkward. Knowing a lot of people is accomplished by being involved in all these recurring activities and merely reinforcing your relationships.
How To Be Popular in High School: Extra-curricular Activities
Don't fall for the common mistake most high school students make, preventing them from ever becoming popular. High schools create and host these activities for a reason. If you run home every day when the bell rings, you're constantly avoiding opportunities to socialize with others. Simply take advantage of them, and you'll already be one step ahead of your peers.
School is a difficult environment where popularity matters most. Sure there are a few other things to worry about. Our parents are bugging us to get our chores and homework done. We might have other obligations as well, such as sports teams or outside activities. But, what we really care about in school is friends and relationships. After all, we're no longer children. We no longer rely on adults as much. Our peers, the friends around us, are who we really care about at this stage in our lives -- we might not act like it, but we really do care what our classmates think of us.
We want to be the popular kid in school. We want lots of friends. We want to feel important. We want people to notice and respect us. We don't want to be made fun of. We want the admiration and attention of our classmates. Yet, it's not always easy to know how to be popular in school. Many kids are simply confused about being popular in school. It's hard to figure out what makes the cool kids cool. What makes one person an outcast while the other knows all the secrets to being popular in school.
First, you need to look at the traits of the popular kids. What do they all have in common? What makes these people different from the ones who are frowned upon. Let's go through a checklist of qualities. Cool kids are usually confident. This might means that nothing affects them. It doesn't matter if you swear at them or try to make fun of them -- they still won't be affected. Want to know the secret to confident kids? They're so sure of themselves that they don't care what you think about them. Your opinion doesn't matter. They don't take things seriously. Your words bounce off of them like rubber.
You need to learn to become like these kids. You need to walk around and act like you don't care what other people think. You're going to do what you do regardless of what others might say. You're going to talk clearly when you speak to others.
We care about what our friends think about us because so much is on the line. We don't want to be social outcasts, and we want everyone to like us. At the same time, we start wanting to get in relationships with the cute guys and girls in our classes. You need to learn to speak clearly, directly, and in a strong voice. But you can't just play the part. If your going to act like your confident, you also need to have a reason to be confident. You can't be a fake. You can't just play the part. You can only get around acting confident for so long, without actually having a reason to be confident, before it stops being effective.
So, then, observe yourself. Ask yourself what it is about yourself that makes you lose confidence. If you want to know the real secret of how to be popular in school, know this: eliminate as many of the things as you can that are making you lose confidence, and then act out the rest. If you're overweight, work hard to get in shape. If your hygiene is poor, devote some time to fixing it (take showers, brush your teeth, use deodorant.) With your clothes, make sure they're nice but don't overdo it. Remember, you're trying to give off the appearance that "you're NOT trying." You want to show that you care about how you look, and that you are on top of things, but that you don't care about what OTHER people think about how you look.
In conclusion, eliminate as many things as you can that make you lose confidence in yourself as possible. Then, when you walk around acting all confident, talking clearly when speaking to others without being shy, and acting like you don't care what others think, you have a reason to do so. This doesn't mean you should act cocky, or be mean to people. You still want to attract people to you like a magnet. You still want to be really nice to everyone and make friends. But now you're not this shy person whose awkward to be around. Instead, people feel at ease when they're hanging out with you because your confident in yourself. These two tips are the main ingredients on how to be popular in school. Follow them and work on self improvement and you should be golden.